Cosmos: Old School (2001) – part eight

Team commander is the adventurer / naturalist Artimus Frink, one of my oldest and dearest friends – aided by his stalwart companion Warwick ‘Co-pilot’ Smythe-Jones, native tracker and survival expert Tork T’Bora, and myself, we explore the Cosmosian wilderness to discover its secrets…. and protect them for future generations! Sometimes, though, adventure can be found al ittle closer to home….

Once Artimus extricated himself from his predicament, the package turned out to be the ownership papers and instruction manual for his new all-purpose exploration vessel, The Wanderer – which he was suitably keen to take out for a little jaunt! Well, I say ‘little jaunt’, but within a week we and our trusty support staff were halfway across the world, off the coast of the forbidding Maagar Islands!

Oh, my, oh, my. How is it that someone who can identify thirteen separate species of  Fruit Snail based solely on their eye-stalks doesn’t know how to put a tent? Ah, well, he has us to untangle him, at least…. At this point, we decided to divide our forces in order to create what is termed in our business ‘a spur-of-the-moment documentary’…. As you do.

Out in the field, Co-pilot serves many vital roles: mechanic, cartographer (that’s a map expert, in case you wondering), first aid, communications expert…. and, more often than not, maker of valiant attempts to rein in Artimus’ enthusiasm. It’s just a shame I was elsewhere at the time – they really did get themselves into quite a pickle….

Rather a dire turn of events, isn’t it? The one thing you don’t want to do in unfamiliar territory is rub the locals the wrong way, especially if their weapon of choice is an expertly-hurled spear! What happened next, you may ask? Unfortunately, my communication window is about to slip out of chrono-dimensional phase with you reality – so we’ll have to pick this up again next time! Cheerio for now!



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