Well, we had to get Gene’s attention somehow, and despite the rather expensive outlay (do you realise how expensive a pinpoint target air-drop is these days?), I think it was well worth it. I secured the necessary aid, and Gene scored a 1:1 scale R2D2 for his collection – can’t say fairer than that. And, hey, glad I was able to get you out of your rut, buddy!
Ohhh, boy…. Me and Big Bob. Do we have some history. As the self-proclaimed ‘Retail King of Cosmos’, Bob has so many fingers in so many pies, he must have to hire extra pairs of hands to put in the pies, in order to circumvent the laws of both causality and — Sorry, that analogy got away from me. Long story short, he’s a con-man, a hustler, and a one-man Walmart franchise – no matter how many of his dodgy businesses fall over, he’s got another dozen ready to pick up the slack; and undercut, outcompete and bankrupt any competition that gets in his way. One of those competitors was very nearly me…. but with a bit of sleight of hand, I was able to swindle the swindler, and save my fledgling comic business from certain doom! And did that defeat go down well? No. It. Did. Not.
I tell ya, what Gene doesn’t know about Star Wars merchandise ain’t worth knowing – even the most skillfully crafted knock-off can be scrutinised, identified and mocked to within an inch of its life before Mr. Ellis even breaks a sweat! And that’s what I needed on that job: the expert to end all experts. That, and someone Big Bob had never seen before…. if I’d rocked in there with Gene (or on my own), we’d have been made in an instant. Of course, if I’d known what was going to happen next….
Yehhhh…. Not the way I’d envisaged my ‘simple in-and-out’ plan going, to be honest. Sorry, guys! Without further ado, Gene, Ax and Macy were marched into the er, Imperial Throne Room of the Big Man himself; where Bob was, unsurprisingly, up to his usual tricks:
Uh oh – I think where you can see where this is going. Jon blatantly pastiching the chain of events from Star Wars: A New Hope meant that a hoary old cliché, sorry, venerable post-modern trope, was bound to rear its dianoga-like eye-stalk eventually…. Stay tuned for the next exciting installment – same Bat-time, same Bat-channel!
TO BE CONTINUED….