Cosmos: Old School (2002) – part three

Artie title

Hello, everyone! In earlier Cosmos stories (such as 1999, part 10; 2000, part 4; and 2000, part 18; according to Jon’s helpful record-keeping), Gene has made no secret of his love of a good cup of coffee – although considering that many of his ‘personal blends’ were capable of devouring teaspoons whole and eating their way through mugs, tablecloths and tables (!), one had to wonder what abuses he was subjecting himself to in the name of his traditional ‘Morning pick-me-up’. That was a question I asked myself, so one day I decided to actually broach the subject:

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Well, at least we got him to see sense on the issue…. once he’d stopped vibrating hard enough to travel through time. However, Macy and I both knew that all the fine words and fancy speeches would count for nothing if Gene attempted to tackle the Twelve-step Program on his own. He’s not exactly known for his impulse-control skills, after all…. which is why he had us to lend him a hand! Both sets of them, clamped hard enough to his various appendages to stop him from escaping somewhere we couldn’t find him!

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Macy and I, by necessity, adopted a strategy of ‘tough love’, i.e, treat Gene like a three-year old having a sugar-fueled temper tantrum, and refuse to cave in no matter how much he screamed, flailed and carried on. And believe you me, there was a lot of that going on (Geez….):

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As I’m sure Jon has explained somewhere, Gene and Macy’s friendship is somewhat, shall we say, antagonistic. They’re always trying to rub each other up the wrong way – a bit of ‘friendly competition’, so they tell me – but when Macy has unfair advantage (as above) she tends to get a bit…. nasty. I’m not sure whether ‘Psychological Warfare 101’ was a compulsory course in art school, but Ms. Styles appears to have honed her skills to the proverbial razor’s edge! Once I’d (yet again….) played peace-maker between the two of them, we all went back to the third innings of the Waiting Game:

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All’s well that ends well, hmm? I mean, once we’d cured Gene’s addiction to coffee…. and then cured the second, even worse addiction we’d inadvertently created by combating the first…. he was a new Cosmosian, all ready to turn over a new leaf! His current coffee intake is virtually nil – one cup, once a year, on his birthday; or so he assures us – and Nut-i-O’s? Ha ha ha ha ha!!! Let’s just say there’s nothing a little inexpensive $4,000 regimen of hypnotherapy and cover-ups won’t do for clearing up such a minor, inconsequential problem….

Which we no longer talk about.

For…. completely unrelated reasons.

And stuff.



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